Mini Reading Roundup and other stuff.

(Reading Roundup is a semi-regular feature in which I share tasty bits of writing I’ve found.)

From My Pocket: Never tell your winter coat farewell, or April will play tricks on you. This one rings especially true to me this week, considering that Saturday we had 80-degree temps and since then it’s been 40-degree nights and 60-ish daytimes with a side of “very windy.” Not that I’m complaining, mind you.

Poet David Wojahn: We too often commit the hubris of thinking our desires can be gratified, or that gratifying them is going to give us the consolation we feel we need. These longings may prompt us to creative activity, and I guess the displacement of those longings is much of what poetry is about.

That’s all I’ve got today, kids. Whew. I don’t mind telling you that it’s been a hectic couple of weeks in Avenueland (I just made that up and I’m not sure why; apparently my life is now something like a theme park). You might remember I was trying to slow down and smell the roses last week, enjoy the moment, etc., and I was actually able to do just that–for one short day. It was lovely. But the very next day it was back to full-speed-ahead and I feel like I’ve barely stopped to breathe since. Between work (at which I feel seriously unfocused and only marginally productive), two hours of commuting per day, evening obligations (fun ones, to be sure, but they still contribute to my feeling of being stretched thin), a perpetual lack of sleep, a jam-packed weekend schedule, and attempting to plan for some major changes on the horizon, I can’t escape my feeling that not only are there too few hours in the day, but my energy and strength are utterly insufficient for everything I’m tasked with. And I still don’t have time or energy for the things I really want to do, like read, write, or make stuff!

And it’s wearing on me, guys. It really is. To the point that I considered backing out of a craft fair that I’d already paid a $100, non-refundable vendor fee for. Yeah. I’m almost ready to pay $100 for a true day of rest. Sheesh. I’m too young to feel like this.

SO. Because I am a woman of action, and can’t stand to simply describe a problem without also trying to remedy it, here are a few of my resolutions for decompressing: 1) I will not make any further weekend commitments in April or May unless it is something I genuinely want to do and which will bring only fun–not stress–into my life. Period. 2) Instead of watching the morning news while I eat my breakfast, I will spend the time reading for pleasure (this means a real book or magazine, not a blog or website). 3) I will start actually taking lunch breaks at work, instead of spending them at my desk. This means physically leaving the office (I’m so bad about this one). 4) I will make a concerted effort to focus on the here-and-now emotionally and mentally. This is a big deal! I have such a tendency to devote most of my headspace to the future, which means worrying about and trying to control things which aren’t even certain, not to mention being less-than-present in the present.

It’s a start, I think. It’s good for me to articulate actual steps and actions I can take to change the way I feel. ‘Cause Lord knows it won’t just miraculously happen on its own. And bitching and moaning about how it’s “everyone else’s” fault that I’m too busy for my own good is just completely counter-productive. And, I might add, untrue. So thanks for listening to my little feelings-fest, dear Internets, if you made it all the way through. I doubt these struggles are that unique, and I’m curious how other folks deal with this issue. How do you juggle the various obligations of your life? What do you do to decompress or relax? It’s always nice to know you’re in good company, even when you’re not in a good place.